The Tale of Pamela the Wizard

Written for my friend’s college graduation, May 2018


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Once upon a time in a faraway land,

Pamela slept tight – spell book in hand.

For three years she’d studied, and studied, and thought

to learn to use magic, completely self-taught.


Tomorrow’s the day where she’d show off her stuff

to prove to the world that she’d learned quite enough.

She awoke with a start to find her alarm clock had failed,

and grabbing her papers she hurriedly flailed

down the stairs of her tower, her breathing was bated,

down to the town square where everyone waited.


The crowd stood anxious, watching her prep,

and once she was ready she walked with a schlep.

“Ladies and Gents, and those in between,”

she smiled at a centaur and bowed to the Queen,

“I have in my hand all my knowledge of charms,”

she nervously said and lifted her arms,

“Now to demonstrate all of my learned expertise,

step away from the stage, I’m asking you, please.”


She started to sing, and her arms twisted and swirled,

then something exploded right next to the Earl.

“Hey! Be careful with magic, and watch where you’re zapping!” The Earl loudly yelled though the thunder was clapping.

“I’m sorry! The magic slipped right out of my grasp!”

Then everything stopped and left only a gasp.


The Earl wasn’t there, he disappeared in the smoke,

and over the voices the Queen loudly spoke.

“Pamela the Wizard, what did you do?”

The Queen was so mad her face was now blue.


“I lost control and I’m not sure why,”

Pamela was sad and wanted to cry.

“You’ll fix this problem, and fix it you will,

to get in control of your powerful skill.

Go rescue the Earl and finish this quest,

then we can finish your magical test.”


“I accept my quest and what it’s come to,

and now I must bid y’all all an adieu.”

And so Pamela fled back into her room

in trying to escape her feeling of doom.


But try as she might, she soon started crying

but the Earl would stay lost if she didn’t start trying.

So she toughened up and wiped all her tears,

she packed all her bags and left all her fears.


And then off she went on a journey so far –

and completely on foot, not using a car.

She travelled quite briskly without looking back

before she realized what she neglected to pack.

She had no compass, nor sextant, nor map,

she was totally lost and looked like a sap.


She twiddled her fingers to generate some magic,

and that’s when her situation really turned tragic.

No sparks flew around, no charms she could summon

would let the Earl know that Pamela was coming.


“What have I done?!” Pamela cried in distress,

“How can I finish my magical quest?”

Then a loud


                                    rang clear through the air,

And suddenly a cute little fairy was there!


“My dear Pamela, so low in morale,

“I’m here to help as your Fairy God-pal!”

“My Fairy God-pal?” Pamela asked all quiet and befuddled.

“Did my wording come out a little too muddled?”

“No, not at all, I’m just taken aback.”
“I’m here to help with what you neglected to pack.”


“Is there a reason you chose me as your magical friend?”

“If you don’t want me around, let’s see how you fend.”

“No! Please don’t leave!” Pamela said with some zest,

“I’m not sure I can handle this magical quest.”


“Ah, now your quest is something I’ve heard of, at least,

to rescue the Earl you’ll have to head East.

He’s at the top of the mountain across from this river,

my friend and I will help you deliver.”


“You have a friend who’ll help me advance?”
“Naturally, for this once and in a lifetime chance!”

“She’ll meet us by the river in less than an hour,

the three of us have some serious girl power.”

And so off they went, skipping along,

with a goal in their mind their hearts sang a song.

Once at the river they stopped at the bank

where Pamela’s big heart grew heavy and sank.

No bridge led across, nor boat docked at rest

would help cross the river to finish the quest.

She looked left and right and saw the rough current

and she saw the other side where her friend and her weren’t.


“Where’s your friend?” Pamela asked with a sigh,

she then heard a hoot ring across of the sky.

“Pamela the Wizard, meet Benny the Owl,”

Her plumage was shiny, what a beautiful fowl.


“Pleasure to meet ya! I hear you need aid

to rescue the Earl without magic or blade.”

“Yes, thank you Benny! Now here’s my first chore:

safely cross this river to reach that shore.”


“This one is easy! The pair of us can fly,

we’ll carry you across and no one will die!”

The Fairy and Benny each grabbed hold of an arm

and Pamela landed safely on the shore with no harm.


“Thank you, you guys! That was super easy!”
She stopped gushing her thanks before it got cheesy.

And onward they went, the three on a quest,

the unlikely party was feeling quite blessed.

And then they arrived at the mountain so tall,

where they started climbing unafraid of a fall.

“It’s getting quite steep,” Pamela said as she slowed,

a tower at the top now scarcely could show.

“I think I see something!” Pamela exclaimed in her haste,

she hiked up her robes and quickened her pace.


“I too see a tower!” Benny cried from the air,

“I’ll let you know what I see from up there!”

Benny the Owl flew up towards the sun,

she circled the tower and then she was gone.

“Benny! Come back!” Pamela cried in despair,

but her owl was gone with no retreat in the air.
“Maybe he’s napping,” the Fairy said with a smug,

“I’m sorry you’re sad, can I offer a hug?”

“Times are too tough, now we have to move fast,

you can give me a hug when the Queen says I’ve passed.”

The good Fairy nodded, and with a light stretch,

The pair started climbing the final homestretch.


The rocks were all large, and some were quite jagged,

they’re lucky they carried only emotional baggage.

They climbed and they climbed past some moss and a stump, but once the trees stopped, their throats formed a lump.

The mountain was barren, not even a bug,

she then told the Fairy, “I might need that big hug.”


But then a hoot rang across the scary terrain

and up in the sky was Benny again!

“Benny! You’re back!” Pamela plopped on a rock,

her heartbeat was racing as a result of this shock.

“Pamela the Wizard, you’ll like what you see,

but to get to the top you’ll have to hurry.”


“What did you see that will make me so happy?”

Benny the owl’s wings were cute and so flappy.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you, it’s yours to discover,

but don’t worry, Pamela, we’ve got each other.”

“You’ve got to keep climbing,” the Fairy said pointing up, “you’ve come so darn far, don’t you double dare give up.”

“But I’m so tired and this mountain is scary,

it’s my fault entirely that this situation got hairy!”


“Fine, quit if you want, but you’ve come all this way.

It’s a shame you won’t reach your magical day.”

“I guess I’ll keep going, I am almost done,

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t had fun.”


And so Pamela climbed the last scary rocks,

and what she saw at the top knocked off her socks.


At the base of the tower the Earl sat there proud

surrounded by a smiling crowd.

“I don’t understand this,” Pamela said as she neared,

the end of her quest really seemed weird.

“Pamela the Wizard, congrats, you have passed!”

The Queen hugged Pamela tight and real fast.


“You’ve proven to the kingdom you have what it takes,

You rescued the Earl and not once did you break.”

“Is this my tower? Am I back at the start?”
Pamela felt a fluttering deep in her heart.

“Here is your scroll, you’re a grad of this school,

And your friends have some medals to make them look cool.”


“Was that really it? It seemed kind of fast,”

Pamela was sad but wanted to ask.

“Though your classes were fun, they came to an end.

But you learned that true magic lies within you and your friends.”


“I guess you are right, that’s why you’re a Queen.

True friends are few and far in between.

Now come what may, I guess I’m ready to start

the rest of my life and I’ll lead with my heart.”


Tʜᴇ Eɴᴅ

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