Veterans of the Newsletter know of my historic (one-sided) feud with Ryan Seacrest. While no one will ever top him as my least favorite celebrity of all time, there is another parasocial relationship I feel I must disclose. Ryan Seacrest is taken at face value as the shrimp of a man that he is, butContinue reading “The hero Austin doesn’t want, but the hero Austin deserves ￼”
Picture this: you’re at the beach. You arrived early in the morning to grab the best spot for your various chairs and towels. A handful of people are trickling in further down the sand, one couple has the cutest dog you’ve ever seen. The sun is barely over the waves and the smell of rottingContinue reading “Whatever wishes wither with her”
I’ve been having an on and off debate with my friends about whether or not time is real. This is your chance to keep scrolling, I’m giving you an out. Naturally, I’m defending the fact that it’s completely made up, time is in fact, not real. I believe it’s like math; the numbers themselves don’tContinue reading “If You Want to Chop Down a Cherry Tree You Must First Invent the Universe”
As I’m sure no one knows, I have a significant birthday coming up. This birthday has been highly anticipated for years, and has occupied a piece of my travel planning mind ever since I learned what an airplane was; by far more significant than turning 16, 18, or 21. Next week, I share a dreamContinue reading “Car Pay Diem”
With the end of 2021 behind us and the quickly escalating pandemic on our heels, I know what you’re thinking; what exactly are Faberge Eggs and which are the prettiest? Well you’re in luck. Inspired by a tweet by @grnpointer, I have compiled a list of the 48 known Imperial Eggs. While I respect @grnpointer’sContinue reading “A Correct and Definitive Egg List”
Hanging nearly 30 feet high in Houston’s Museum of Fine Arts is Ernesto Neto’s immersive SunForceOceanLife, an interactive installation that thoughtfully evokes the ocean and inner stability. Yellow, orange, and green plastic balls tightly wrapped in netting create the suspended pathways splitting and joining in spiraling paths before ultimately combining in the center. The handContinue reading “Ernesto Neto: SunForceOceanLife”
Do you know what time it is at the North and South poles? Answer: there is no time at the North and South poles. Since it’s where all the time zones meet, each researcher or base goes by the time from their homeland. Isn’t that wild? Nothing in this world is real, time is a construct, and ifContinue reading “Existentialist Dread, Illusionary Time, and Middle School”
“In an alternate universe, this note would look very different,” writes author and director Mallory Schlossberg in the program for Human Resources: The Musical. In the wake of COVID, no group of people have had to adapt as much as the performing arts community. A year ago, this online horror musical spectacular would have takenContinue reading “Human Resources: A bloody, bloody hit”
Earlier today I stubbed my toe but didn’t cry because I’m built different.
I once had to pull a two inch nail out of the bottom of my foot in complete darkness using a pair of pliers and an old towel. The next day I walked barefoot on the beach because I’m built different.
As a person with O- blood, strange supernatural things happen to me often. I have two lines, seemingly parallel, on the back of my right hand. When I touch the scars, my fingers feel like the aline scalpels that cut me all those years ago. I don’t remember the abduction, but I know I didn’t cry because I’m built different.
I don’t think I’ve ever spent this much time at home. Even though I grew up in this house, these past several months have felt just as long as the first 18 years. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, I love being home and I’m incredibly privileged to be able to work from aContinue reading “My Quarantine Hobbies”